#BYOLC - Be Your Own Life Coach

Ok so before we jump in I want to caveat that there really is no replacement for working with a qualified coach however one of the my pet peeves of our society is people not having access to the right tools and techniques to help and support themselves. Sometimes it's financial or often times the plain unknown, how can you achieve your goals if you don't know the stepping stones to get clear on what they look like to subsequently smash them!?

Naturally, some people have an innate ability to create goals, and achieve them no matter how big or small they are - if so, this post may not be for you - but feel free to leave any tips for beginners in the comments section!

I hosted a session when I first qualified called '#BYOLC' - Be Your Own Life Coach (Note to self: trademark!) we spoke about how you can spend some time by yourself getting clear on what you want in life and why you want it. A pen and paper is all you will need & recommended some peace & quiet. This session followed the linear overview of the GROW Model, which is a common framework used by coaches during sessions that I will go through an overview of in todays post:

G is for Goal

Coaching is all about the present and future, so a common theme for a lot of people wanting to work with a coach is to not only get clear on their goals but to flesh them out and understand the Why behind the importance of achieving that goal. Perhaps you have a goal but you can't seem to achieve it? Something you have always longed to do or have? You may find that every time you set this goal, you give up or it feels unattainable. This may be because your Goal isn't hitting some criteria to be actionable. You want to get the passion burning inside of you here, imagining and visualising what it will feel like once you say 'I did it!'

Let's get started: Write a goal down & we will work through it together.

A subsection of the Goal is that it should typically follow the classic SMART Framework as well *sorry a lot of layers, but I want to give you a good feeler to enable you to self-help and set realistic goals*

Ask yourself this once you have written down the goal you want to tackle for the purpose of this exercise..

- Is it Specific - the clearer you can get on the goal the better

- Is it Measurable - this isn't always going to be as straight forward as say weight loss but if your goal is to meditate more you can track this in minutes meditated

- Is it Attainable - is it possible to achieve this goal? Will it offset other 'happy zones' in your life.

- Is it Realistic - is this goal within reach? e.g. living underwater without Oxygen is a definite NO

- Is it Timebound - what is your timeline like here?

If you have answered yes to the above, keep going with this goal.

If you have answered No, you may need to refine and clarify the goal a little bit more to ensure that you have clarity and a realistic path forward.

R is for Reality

You need to get honest with yourself on your current situation and the reality of this goal. For example if your goal is to go to Mars, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but this is probably an unrealistic goal for you to work towards as the destiny of it is in other peoples hands. So....look at the goal you've written in Step 1: Is this a goal that you have tried before? What is different now for you that you are ready to go for it? This step involves your wider surroundings as well. Take the opportunity here to write down potential triggers or blockers, the clearer you are on the right now the more options you can create to overcome those potential blockers should they arise.

O is for Options

My favourite part of a session, figuring out the Art of the Possible for your goals. There are so many different paths and routes to achieving one goal, at this point I would encourage you to really spend some time and jot down all of the different ways that you could possibly achieve your goal. For example if your goal was to invest more into your wellness routine some options here would be to add in an extra 30 minutes of walking, drink more water, get more sleep, put in a non-negotiable Thursday evening bath.

W is for Will or Way Forward:

Now that you understand your reality & the potential options - you can now establish how you will work to achieve this goal and hold yourself accountable. Going back to the SMART model it's now a good opportunity to reiterate the timelines for this goal: the moment you put a deadline on your dream, it becomes a goal. This also gives you a good measure of achieving your goals that you can check into every so often and assess your progress

If you aren't in a position to work with a dedicated coach 1 on 1, I would encourage you to dedicate a notebook or safe space to your goals, regularly check in on what you've set out, make it part of your day to day routine and celebrate when you achieve the small steps towards it. Being honest with yourself is important but believing in yourself is the biggest step to success!

Example GROW model for a session:

Sarah is a 28 year old working at a local cafe, she doesn't like her job but feels stuck and doesn't know what to do. She really wants to go back to college and study to become an accountant but is unsure of how she can achieve it. Naturally she has some concerns around finances and becoming a mature student.

Goal: Studying accountancy at college.

Reality: Sarah has concerns around how she will afford college, but knows that there are some courses nearby and thinks she can talk to both her parents and employer for their support and flexibility in helping her achieve this goal.

Options & Path to Achieving her goal:

- Research Accountancy courses

- Speak with grant options for mature students & understand the application process

- Understand whether it would be more feasible for her to do Part Time or Full Time

- Once she understands the course timelines she has the option to speak with her current employer and see if she could work weekends or evenings

- If needed have a conversation with her parents to move back in for a short period to support her finances and expenditure

Specific: Studying Accountancy at DCU part time over 3 years

Measurable: Clear path with the college who support her developments through continous assessment and end of year exams

Attainable: Sarah feels like this goal is definitely attainable with the support of her parents and her employers understanding

Realistic: She is happy to invest the three years it takes to qualify and knows that she is dedicated to working hard to become an accountant

Timebound: The course starts in 2 months time which means she needs to start working on understanding the application and potential grants now if she wants to get registered and accepted.

Way Forward/Will:

Sarah has thought about this for quite some time but never had the courage to pursue it, now she feels confident in her decision to go for this goal and dream of hers. The desire is there and she knows that the way forward is to start setting up ca

can afford to put herself through college and see if there is a way to work on the weekends and move back into her parents. Naturally she has fears on on limited cashflow & being a mature student.